Those of us who struggle with co-dependency and low self-esteem tend to have a hard time understanding and embracing boundaries. We become comfortable staying within other peoples boundaries versus creating our own, mostly out of fear of hurting or disappointing someone.
Healthy boundaries allow you to have empathy (understanding) for others without taking responsibility for them. Finding a balance between taking care of yourself (emotionally) and being there for others, without being manipulated, abused, or intimidated (whether intentionally or not).
Once you decide to place specific boundaries it will be a process of following through. There will be people in your life (and even the devil) who will work hard to gray your line (your boundary) and before you know it, you begin to move across or allow in slowly, but steadily the very things, situations, or people you originally tried to protect yourself from.
Boundaries are connected to self-worth and by seeing yourself as "worthy" you recognize that you are intentionally and purposefully created by God. You matter!
For you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mothers womb.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. Jeremiah 1:5
Authors Dr.Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have said in their book, Boundaries "You are the one who must take control of the aspects of your life and exercise the freedom and responsibility that God has given you. And remember, where He has given you control, He will hold you accountable."
We are each responsible and accountable for our own actions and choices. It's not our place to answer for someone else or to own their responsibility. It's also not up to others to be responsible for our choices. If you find yourself running in the "victim circle" take ownership and move forward.
Something to ask yourself:
1. Is there an area or relationship in your life where you need to consider placing a boundary?
2. Have you allowed or made someone else responsible for your choices or actions?
If you answered yes to either one of these questions....what are you willing to do TODAY to move forward in a healthy way?
There is always HOPE!