“Failure to confront is permission to continue” ~ Dr. Jennifer Delger
I was listening to Moody Radio- Midday Connection the other day and Dr. Jennifer Delger was the guest. Her topic was on Emotional and Verbal Abuse. This is a topic I am familiar with and was interested to hear what Dr. Delger had to say about it.
She was informative and had several good examples of how to deal with emotional or verbal abuse. Her statement, “ Failure to confront is permission to continue,” was a huge aha moment for me. As someone who has struggled with confrontation and prefers to put things under the rug, this was something I wanted to grab ahold of and remember.
I have grown tremendously in this area, however, there are times when it would be much easier to pretend I didn't hear something (ignore truth) or pretend that what was said or done probably was not what I thought (self-doubt) or if I ignore (don't confront) it will go away.
As an ever recovering co-dependent and self doubter, I have struggled with the word “confrontation.” What I have learned over the years is that confrontation doesn't mean doom and gloom. It doesn't mean negativity. Confrontation, if done with the right motive, is necessary! Failure to confront a person or situation does allow the other person to assume you are in agreement, you don't care, or you value that person or situation more than you value yourself.
I am a firm believer in “picking and choosing your battles.” Some things really don't need to be confronted. We have to know what is our business and what isn't. We have to know our boundaries and what really matters to us.
Sometimes whomever you're confronting may not want to hear what you have to say and as I have learned that's also okay. They may not be ready to listen or agree. That is when you have to decide if boundaries are needed and how you need to proceed.
There is hope in confrontation. There is hope in speaking truth. There is hope in recognizing failure to confront is permission to continue.
There is always HOPE!
1 Peter 3:15-16 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
Ephesians 4:15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ,
I was listening to Moody Radio- Midday Connection the other day and Dr. Jennifer Delger was the guest. Her topic was on Emotional and Verbal Abuse. This is a topic I am familiar with and was interested to hear what Dr. Delger had to say about it.
She was informative and had several good examples of how to deal with emotional or verbal abuse. Her statement, “ Failure to confront is permission to continue,” was a huge aha moment for me. As someone who has struggled with confrontation and prefers to put things under the rug, this was something I wanted to grab ahold of and remember.
I have grown tremendously in this area, however, there are times when it would be much easier to pretend I didn't hear something (ignore truth) or pretend that what was said or done probably was not what I thought (self-doubt) or if I ignore (don't confront) it will go away.
As an ever recovering co-dependent and self doubter, I have struggled with the word “confrontation.” What I have learned over the years is that confrontation doesn't mean doom and gloom. It doesn't mean negativity. Confrontation, if done with the right motive, is necessary! Failure to confront a person or situation does allow the other person to assume you are in agreement, you don't care, or you value that person or situation more than you value yourself.
I am a firm believer in “picking and choosing your battles.” Some things really don't need to be confronted. We have to know what is our business and what isn't. We have to know our boundaries and what really matters to us.
Sometimes whomever you're confronting may not want to hear what you have to say and as I have learned that's also okay. They may not be ready to listen or agree. That is when you have to decide if boundaries are needed and how you need to proceed.
There is hope in confrontation. There is hope in speaking truth. There is hope in recognizing failure to confront is permission to continue.
There is always HOPE!
1 Peter 3:15-16 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
Ephesians 4:15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ,
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