Last weekend I asked my husband to take me to a movie. This may seem insignificant to some, however, to my husband he knew this was something to regard. I am not one who rushes to see the latest hyped up movie and I am selective on movies I would want to see a second time. Knowing this, you may be surprised at the movie I wanted to see. I wont keep you in suspense any longer....it was August: Osage County.

There was enough in the reviews and Facebook comments that piqued my interest and knowing that Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts were also in it made it intriguing. There is something about these types of movies that seem to lure me in with all of the dysfunction and imperfections that each character portrays.

Interestingly enough, these movies don't seem to trigger me (for those who aren't familiar with my story I have ptsd and panic/anxiety). I find myself captivated by each character and their behavior. Hoping against all hope, that the end of the movie will find each scenario neatly wrapped up and with a happily ever after ending. Sometimes, these movies do end with the outcome I hoped for and sometimes, they don't.

Why do I find myself drawn towards these types of movies? Is it the family secrets that no one talks about, but yet, they have the capability to shatter or damage relationships? Is it the selfish or greedy motives of some of the family members that's all to familiar to me? Is it the addictions that wreak havoc on not only the addict, but the entire family? Or is it the family member who tries again and again to fix or rescue the entire family dysfunction to only watch it continue on? Is it the way they blame each other for someone else's choices? Is it the way they all willingly put things under the rug in hopes that, by not talking about it, it will go away or resolve itself? Or is it that I find a peculiar, yet comforting relatability that seems to invite me in with an underlining knowing?

I believe it's all of the above...I saw both sides of my family in the characters and motives. I hoped against all hope that the end would indeed end, with everyone happy and reconciled. Spoiler alert: the movie does not end this way. In fact it ends the way I feel about my own journey, unresolved, yet still hopeful.

There are parts of my life and certain family member relationships that are resolved and full of hope and like many of you, there are also parts of my life and family relationships, that have required me to place boundaries in order to protect myself (emotionally) and my ability to move forward. There is hope in confronting truth and in trying to understand why people do what they do, but at the same time, that does not justify abuse, addiction, greed, lies, or unfavorable behavior or choices that impact others in a damaging way.

 If I were to have the opportunity to talk to Barb, Karen, or Ivy (the three sisters in the movie), I would encourage them that they have the choice to stop the cycle. There IS hope and they don't have to settle. They can place boundaries. They can choose to stop sweeping things under the rug and taking responsibility for other people's choices. They can choose to courageously get to the root of their own issues and do things differently. I would emphasize to them they haven't a crossed line of no return. I would remind them God is real and He is waiting to shower them with grace, mercy, and forgiveness. And more than anything else, I would tell them to take life one day at a time, one moment at a time, and to know there is always always HOPE!

“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

“We are made right in God's sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, no matter who we are or what we have done.” Romans 3:22


(*Disclaimer: I am not promoting the movie nor the actors in the movie. I encourage you to read reviews and talk to others before you see this movie, as it has potential to trigger some people with the theme , content, and language)

It seemed when I was a child life moved slowly.  In my child's mind, it seemed to take longer than a year for my next birthday or the next Christmas, or the next summer, to finally arrive.  Now, as I am entering my late forties, I wish the time would slow down.  It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating my last birthday, I find myself thinking, Christmas AGAIN? And then it seems as soon as summer arrives, it is time for it to end, and the fall and Christmas decor is all around us in the stores and advertisements. 

I am trying to find a balance in living intentionally, but not filling my days and hours with so much that I can barely appreciate what I am doing.  I want to be a woman of quality and not quantity. It’s not always easy with all of the distractions of social media and other things that tempt to whittle away every available second.

As I consider my day it’s not just about managing my time (hour by hour) there is a bigger picture: finding Gods purpose and direction for me and moving forward to accomplish this. I can't do this in chaos.  I need order.  I also know I tend to put myself last.  I don't always choose to take care of myself physically or emotionally.  This leaves me open as an easy target for distraction. 

The Hebrews began their day the evening before with rest, family time, fellowship, and study.  In Matthew 6:33 Jesus encourages us to seek first His kingdom and righteousness (start your day).  So, it seems to me, if I take both of these examples it’s similar to book ends.  Begin to prepare for tomorrow by getting proper rest, family time, and study/prayer and then when you wake up begin to seek God through prayer and reading His word.  I can see the benefit in book ending my days with this structure however, I also know the enemy wants to throw every distraction possible to not allow this to happen, so I can’t get discouraged when it doesn’t happen.  I will chose to focus on when it does and strive each day to be a book end kind of day.

There is always hope

Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  Matthew 5:15-16